hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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