the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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