we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize