Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Randomize
