you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
