PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
