i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
