u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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