careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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