you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
