Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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