i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
