Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
