My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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