does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
