go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
