You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
