I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize