He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
