The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
