google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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