i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
