hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
