Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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(575): View more from New Mexico

is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?

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(937): View more from Ohio

Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it

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(859): View more from Kentucky

let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.

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(562): View more from California

I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.

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(630): View more from Illinois

YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF

Fav 3 316 258
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