sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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