R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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