Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
