Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
