so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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