Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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