Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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