Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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