her vagine was all disorganized.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize