Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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