I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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