normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
