we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
