Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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