I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
