First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
