I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
