I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
