I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
