I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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