When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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