it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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