Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
