i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
