I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
