im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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