I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
