I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize