If that was your dad, he is hot
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
tell me about the fingering
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
