Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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