I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
