And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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