Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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