i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
