420 ftw
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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