bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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