He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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