Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so let's talk penis.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
