Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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