i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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