saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
God I need to hump something, right now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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