if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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