Got a toothbrush?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
