So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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