Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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